All right, I won't just leave it there. This is supposed to be about my student journey and I need to be open and honest. It was so hard to listen to the dictations and think that I could possibly get good at this! Every report that had word swallowers, mumblers, speed talkers, and just general poor audio quality made it feel like I was trying to walk through hip-deep thick mud! I would get through one of these awful reports, hit the submit, get the comparison, and want to hit my computer with a baseball bat! Then, I'd quit working for the day.
So much for doing one report after the next. (Sigh) I felt defeated. But even more than that, I was pissed off! Not at the school. Not at the material I was trying to learn. I was mad at myself! How could I be so dumb? How could I not hear that slurred bit of dictation? Didn't I see that medical term three reports ago? How'd I miss that?
Getting through high school with As and Bs didn't prepare me for trying to get through these dictations and the inevitable failures. I never failed to learn what was placed in front of me! How could this be happening?
I went back through "How to Have a Beautiful Gradebook." Thank you Jill. I went through the Transcription Consultation video. Thank you Jill. I went through the forum. Thank you students and staff! I managed to hold on to my ability to click "NEXT" and attempt the next report. Barely.
During the middle of Clinic Notes, I was also given the horrible financial news that I was going to lose my Social Security, that my Mom was getting more and more ill, and my children were being completely and insanely irresponsible. I was fighting with my brother. I was in pain from injuries, old and new. I was just about ready to jump into the psychiatric ward at the hospital with my poor mangled brain in my hands. Slowly, this horrible period of my life started to calm and the hospital stay was receding from immediate possibility! How? The first part was getting back on medication. (Insert shrugging here.) Sometimes, you grab whatever life preserver you can. Then it was the forum. My friends in Keep On Keepin' On welcomed me every time I posted and helped me to stay encouraging and encouraged me to keep moving forward.
The more I encouraged others, the better I felt. The more positive feedback I got, the easier it was to believe it. Anyone who reads my posts on the forum can probably see that I'm just trying to lift others and keep them going. Supporting them, when they can't support themselves completely, helps to remind myself that I'm not the only one who's got problems, struggles, or needs support!
It's true that helping others can provide relief to yourself. This, apparently, is true of me as well. Who knew that Career Step provided therapy?
