The New Year

So sorry that I've been MIA. Life threw a few curve balls at me and I've been processing them.

I'm finishing up Basic Acute Care in school. It's amazing that I've been able to come so far with everything that keeps happening around me. (Not so much me, but the people I love.) Advanced Acute Care is scaring the tar out of me. There are so many people who have posted in the forum about how difficult it is and about how they feel so discouraged through this section of reports. All I can do is hope to maintain my equilibrium and not get discouraged by the red I truly expect to see in that module.

I've still got the Editing module to go through as well. So, I can't even say that I'm looking at the end of the tunnel! Ah well. Let me be Zen.

The first curve ball was the death of one of my friends. I hadn't seen her in a while and had minimal contact with her over the last several months. I only knew that she had been sick, had spent some time in the hospital and was out again and living life. Then, I was informed that she was VERY sick and it did not look good. She held on for several weeks before passing a few days before Christmas. Her husband has chosen to wait for the memorial until after all of the holidays because he didn't want to damage Christmas for their 3 kids. The oldest is only 14. My friend was the kind of person who would open her heart and home to anyone who needed help. If you needed a shoulder, she was there. God took her straight to heaven and gave her wings.

The next curve ball was a discussion with my mother about the results of her kidney ultrasound, heart ultrasound and EKG. All I can say is that the results weren't good and it's possible that she will choose not to have a surgery that could save her life. Her decision isn't final, but it's been very emotional for me. Her rationale is solid and I can't argue her rights. I just really don't have to like it!

Christmas day passed without any drama except the good kinds. Good food, happy family, rest and relaxation. All this made for a contented Momma Bear.

New Years' Eve was probably the most boring I have ever spent. I did nothing but watch television with Mom. You might think this would make me sad. It does. A bit. I am determined to spend as much time as possible with my mother before her heart takes her from me. If that means not making plans for holidays or even weekends, then so be it.

I look at my kids and pray that this year they will prove themselves to be the people I know them to be. I look at my mother and pray for her comfort and peace. I look at my friends and pray that their hearts will heal and they will be given strength throughout their journeys. And... I look at myself. I pray for strength, endurance, kindness, compassion, and love. For now, that's the best I'm able to do.